The excitement of a promotion fades fast.
Usually within a couple of weeks, it’s replaced by a quieter, less comfortable feeling: the sense that everyone is now watching how you handle things differently. Your old peers are watching. Your new peers are watching. Your own boss is watching to see if the promotion was the right call. And in all that watching, most new leaders fall into one of two very human traps.
The first is trying to prove you deserve the title. You say yes to everything — the hardest project, the extra client, the task nobody else wanted — because part of you is still auditioning for a job you’ve already got.
The second looks completely different but comes from the same place. It’s trying to make sure everyone still likes you. You avoid the hard conversation. You let the missed deadline slide again. You soften every piece of feedback until it barely means anything, because you’re terrified that being firm will make you the leader nobody wanted.
Different behaviour. Same fear underneath:
what if they don’t respect me? What if they realise I don’t know what I’m doing yet?
It’s a bit like moving into a new house. You can spend the first three months proving to the neighbours you belong there — mowing the lawn twice a week, saying yes to every favour. Or you can spend those months so anxious about upsetting anyone that you never unpack, never hang a picture, never actually make the place yours. Either way, you’re not living in the house. You’re auditioning for permission to live in it.
I worked with a leader a few years ago — talented, promoted to lead a team he liked and respected. In his first month, he said yes to almost everything: extra reports, cover shifts, a side project nobody else wanted. By month two, he was doing pieces of three different jobs and none of them well. His team had quietly started picking up the slack, not because he’d asked, but because they could see he was drowning.
What surprised him was this:
his team didn’t respect him more for the effort. They respected him less. Overwhelm doesn’t read as dedication to the people watching it happen. It reads as someone who hasn’t found their feet.
The leaders people trust in those first ninety days aren’t the ones who never make a hard call, and they aren’t the ones who take on every task themselves. They’re the ones who are honest early — about what they don’t know yet, about what they will and won’t do, about where they need help.
This week, count how many times you say yes to keep the peace or prove yourself, versus how many times you say what’s actually true about your capacity or what the team needs. That ratio will tell you more about your first ninety days than any performance review will.
If this resonates,
the Leader’s Identity Blueprint will show you exactly why new leaders fall into these traps, and what to build instead — for a dollar, in about twenty minutes.
Or call Ross directly on 0412 490 250
Call Team Focus Plus on 1300 551 274 or
Email team@teamfocusplus.com
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